When you think of depression, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
Often times, the person suffering from depression isn’t the saddest person in the room. Quite contrary actually, depression sometimes is the person you would have never expected. They’re not only trying to convince you that they’re happy, they’re also trying to convince themselves.
Depression isn’t the melancholy person in the corner that you don’t want to be around. More often than not, it’s the brightest light in the crowd. The person whose darkness casts the biggest shadow.
Depression isn’t the person screaming for help. It’s the person whose silence is deafening as they search to understand themselves.
Depression knows it’s ugly, and it does everything it can to hide behind its beautiful facade. Because there’s nothing glorified about it. There’s nothing beautiful about falling to your knees when you’re alone, screaming at the top of your lungs but never actually making a sound.
It’s the sleepless nights of tossing and turning in the darkness.
It’s that time of year, you just get a little bit sadder for no reason.
It’s the tears you cry that no one sees, because if you don’t understand why, how can they?
It’s the need to be around people all the time but pushing them away so they can’t really get in.
Depression is comparing your life to what you see on social media, all the while knowing you’re only seeing everyone’s highlight reels.
It’s the last minute canceled plans because you couldn’t muster the strength to get out of bed.
It’s snoozing your alarm because you’re not ready to face another day.
Depression is the dark cloud that looms overhead, threatening to ruin your happiest moments. Depression waits. It creeps and lurks. Looking for signs of vulnerability. And when it strikes, it turns your best days into your worst.
It’s the fear of such happiness because you know it’s bound to fade.
It’s every good day, that are few and far between and that’s what you hang onto.
It’s the struggle in trying to rationalize your sadness to yourself, so you can explain it to others. You just don’t know and you don’t know how to fix it. It’s just a feeling you can’t shake but you’re learning to work through.
Depression are toxic habits and people you gravitate to.
It’s drinking to numb your pain.
It’s knowing alcohol is a depressant, but needing to feel better, if only for a moment.
Depression is the constant unbalance of things in your life.
It’s over exercising for days on end, followed by staying in bed for weeks immobile.
It’s either sleeping too much or too little. But no matter what, you’re always tired.
It’s eating too much or just never being hungry.
It’s weight loss that people commend you for, but you know you just couldn’t help it.
Depression is people asking if you’re okay, and saying “I’m tired” rather than “I’m sad.”
It’s envying the happiness in other people’s lives. So you glamorize your own life so it appears that way.
Depression is overcompensating in relationships. You know you’re tough to deal with but there isn’t anyone you love more than those who accept you, as you’re still trying to accept yourself.
It’s the rare moments of truth when you open up to someone about what it is you deal with. It’s the friendships you form when they accept you anyway.
It’s giving others the love you should be giving yourself.
It’s the love you have for everyone in your life which gives you strength.
Depression is becoming addicted to anything that gives you purpose. Whether it’s being a perfectionist in academics or becoming a workaholic. It’s becoming the most involved in a group or organization because you need something to look forward to. It’s excelling in sports because it really helps to have that and a team to fall back on.
It’s the need to stay busy because if you’re not, you’ll have too much time to think.
But more than that, depression is the person who would do anything to make others happy because someone else’s happiness is their own.
Depression is being overly observant because you know what it’s like to hide things, so you look for it in others.
It’s being the first one willing to help and offer the support you wish you had. Knowing full well, there’s nothing you can say or do but be there for them and that’s okay.
But more than that, depression is a strength in you because there’s nothing harder than overcoming demons within yourself.
It’s the trust people have in you, knowing they can turn to you without judgment.
It’s the excitement you bring to others because even though you’re sad, you do love life.
Depression is being the happiest, saddest person, people know but there’s a bit of beauty to someone who knows both emotions at such an extreme level.
Depression is an appreciation and gratitude for life. It’s knowing no matter what happens things will get better.
Depression is hope.
Depression does not define you. It is a part of you.
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